Liz Phair Blows, and Other Random Thoughts

I had a friend ask me recently whether I thought she should bother picking up the new Liz Phair album, Somebody's Miracle. Having concluded that Liz's previous, self-titled disaster was perhaps the worst piece of crap from a once-respected indie superstar since... well, since ever... I gently nudged her away from funding Liz's latest self-avowed bid for teenybopper superstardom. Hell, I'd rather invest my money on the collected works of, say, Kelly Clarkson, who, unlike Liz, did not previously record 2 1/2 cd's of truly stellar music (see Exile In Guyville, Whip-Smart, and half of Whitechocolatespacegg), only to flip off her loyal fans by hiring well-paid production teams to write an album's worth of mindless faux Top 40 pap and produce the living shit out of it. [NOTE: Let the record reflect that I have never actually invested any of my money on the works of Kelly Clarkson. That said, "Since U Been Gone" is the greatest guilty pleasure since Abba broke up. But don't quote me on that.]

As a testament to just how compelling a music critic I am, my friend nonetheless went out and bought the new Liz Phair album. Today I received a terse 3-word e-mail from my friend encapsulating her review: "Liz Phair Blows." Which, given Liz's substitution of tawdry double entendres for her earlier forays into sexual politics, not to mention her beyond-Madonna self-exploitation (not that I'm complaining about Liz's apparent gig as an amateur underwear model, but still), sounds like a likely title for Liz's next big single. In any event, I can't imagine I'll be buying the disc any time soon. I've got a cdr of a recent Liz concert, which wasn't bad (new tunes included), but this is one case where I'll gladly live in the past and continue to enjoy Exile and Whip and WCSE without further tarnishing her legend.


Speaking of things that blow, time now for the latest pronouncement from the Biggest Dick In America:

“One might also argue that untruthful charges against the Commander-in-Chief have an insidious effect on the war effort itself. I’m unwilling to say that."
--Dick Cheney

Glad that the man who got 5 deferments from serving in Vietnam is continuing to brand as unAmerican anyone who dares criticize the most dishonest administration since Nixon. Looks like Cheney is reviving former AG John "cover up the breasts on that statue pronto!" Ashcroft's posture that anyone who criticizes the Bush Administration "gives aid & comfort to the enemy."

And speaking of big dicks who can't accept reality, in case you missed it, the Vatican has decreed that gays with "deep-seated" tendencies and those who support "gay culture" cannot be priests. Personally, I'm not sure what this "gay culture" bit means -- is watching Will & Grace over the line? listening without embarrassment to Morrissey? and how many Judy Garland movies are too many? -- but the bottom line is that, unsurprisingly, the Vatican has once again revealed its own deep-seated ignorance and misdirection. Now, it's a religion, not a government, and religions are free to embrace whatever tenets they choose, whether it's treating women as second-class citizens or teaching its believers that the world was created in 6 days or revering Tom Cruise and John Travolta as prophets or hating them ol' queers -- but let's be honest here: there's something just a bit hypocritical about an organization that has spent decades covering up and conspiring in the sexual abuse of children by its leadership worldwide demonizing gays. Strictly as a matter of cause & effect, being gay is as much a cause of pedophilia as being Catholic.